I gave a reading to someone recently who had all but completed her second Saturn Return. That's every 28-30 years, when Saturn returns to the exact degree of your chart that it occupied when you were born, and checks up on how responsible you've been. Pluto in Capricorn had also been making some key contacts with her natal chart. She explained that the work she had done during this time was to set clear boundaries in her relationships after years of being a people pleaser. "I have a No Asshole policy, and an asshole-free life," she said proudly.
I love this idea. The policy, the boundary setting, the reality that she's now living her life surrounded only by people who treat her well. I think instituting a No Asshole Policy is a perfect plan for any transit involving Saturn and/or Pluto: both of which will be retrograde for a few months this year. Saturn is retrograde until August 25th. Pluto stations retrograde tomorrow, moving direct on September 28th.
Why? Saturn transits are about growing up, developing discipline, and setting boundaries. Pluto transits are about living your truth, leaving behind what no longer serves you in order to be more authentic. People don't just breeze through these transits. First, usually, your problems rise to the surface. The shit hits the fan, to use a Plutonic metaphor. The longer you ignore them, the worse they get. But as you accept the transformation (Pluto transit) or develop the discipline (Saturn transit), you begin to clean it up. You begin to change your patterns. You're growing. It's inevitable that some of the people and behaviors you tolerated in your old life will no longer be tolerable after this process begins.
Who are these assholes? People who repeatedly don't respect your boundaries when you've made them clear, who have a pattern of acting selfishly in your relationship, and especially those who repeatedly try to make you feel bad about yourself or undermine you. Please note that I'm not referring to abuse. If someone is abusing you, it is never your fault. This post is about run-of-the-mill asshole behavior, e.g. clients who call you at all hours of the day and night, or friends who only serve their compliments backhanded.
Here are the steps to an asshole-free life:
1. Define who you are now. Define your values. Decide what living with integrity means to you.
2. Set your No Asshole policy. How do you expect people to behave towards you? What are your boundaries? What will you no longer put up with? Conversely, what would healthy, positive relationships look like to you?
3. Communicate lovingly with the people in your life who you feel are overstepping your boundaries. I don't buy into this idea that suffering relationships are always the fault of one Toxic Person who must be cut out of your life. You are one half of the relationship, and you may never have stated your boundaries clearly before. Give people a chance to relate to the new you. Sometimes the asshole is a member of your family, which makes your work much harder, and you might choose to enlist the help of a qualified therapist.
4. See if your behavior towards others might change the way they behave towards you. Are you listening to other people? Are you treating others with kindness? Are you respecting their boundaries? A Saturn or Pluto transit is about taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior, not blaming others for your problems.
5. Maintain your No Asshole policy. Some people will not be able to meet you where you are. It could just be that you've grown apart from an old friend, or it could be as dramatic a change as leaving a toxic workplace because you need an asshole-free job. Do what you need to do to create the life you want.
6. Enjoy your asshole-free life. :)
When Pluto moves retrograde tomorrow, it may stir up some shit. You're likely to encounter some of the truths that you'd rather not face or find yourself in a power struggle. Pluto transformations help you come into your own power, but it's a slow and often painful process. Setting some Saturnine boundaries can be a helpful exercise for a Pluto transit.
Where are Pluto and Saturn transiting your chart?
Saturn: 27 - 21 Sagittarius. Transiting natal planets and points from 11-30 degrees of mutable signs (Sagittarius, Gemini, Pisces, Virgo) and fellow fire signs (Aries, Leo).
Pluto: 19 - 16 Capricorn. Transiting natal planets and points from 6-29 degrees of cardinal signs (Capricorn, Cancer, Aries, Libra) and fellow earth signs (Taurus, Virgo).
If you don't have your chart, contact me and I'll send it to you for free.
Are you currently undergoing a Saturn or Pluto transit? Let us know how it's going in the comments.